Accidentally Jewish (The Euphorix Article)

“Nice to meet you, I’m Leah.” 

 “Are you a new member to the synagogue?” 

“No, I haven’t joined yet.” 

“What synagogue do you belong to?” 

“Leah Jones. I’m not Jewish… yet.” 

I’ve had that conversation countless times since I decided to become a Jew. My name confuses people—there are not a lot of non-Jews named Leah and not a lot of Jews named Jones. But there will be one this December when I finish my first year of study and join the Jewish people as a Jew by Choice. 

The hardest part about becoming a Jew as not been Hebrew, it has been wrapping my head around my new identity. Not being a Jew, but being religious. Historically, in my life, I am not a religious person. I was raised in a Christmas and Easter family where church was an option, but never a requirement. “If you want it, you’ll find it.” In the end, my folks got an atheist, an agnostic, and a Jew. 

In college, when a lot of my peers were finding Jesus or atheism, I settled comfortably into the role of a cynical agnostic. A Chemistry major, I said, “You can’t prove God does exist, I can’t prove God doesn’t exist. End of conversation, thank you very much.” And I happily sailed along, sometimes adding, “I am spiritual, but definitely not religious.” 

For about a year in between finding Judaism and leaving cynicism behind, there was a time of tentative prayers. I tried out some written intentions that Julia Cameron described in “The Right to Write.” I was testing the God waters and found something, but being someone who walks around and prays alone didn’t feel right. My next book was “The Idiots Guide to Understanding Judaism” and that is when it started to make sense. In Judaism I found support for the beliefs and values I’d formed over the years, but also tradition, community, and guidance. 

Now that I’ve found the religion, it is a matter of wearing it daily. I still don’t feel religious, even though I go to temple every Friday night, I light Shabbat candles, I bake challah, and I’ve hung a mezuzah in my house. Other people see me at temple every week, chanting Hebrew prayers, choosing to separate meat from dairy and they see a religious person. I can’t get used to the idea of being religious, even though it is a choice I’ve made. I wonder, “If I can’t buy that I’m religious, what do other people think?”   

Other people, it turns out, are more accepting of change than I am. My parents are thrilled that I’m converting, happy that I’ve found a spiritual home. A good friend, who recently graduated Presbyterian Seminary, said he thought that becoming Jewish would deepen my spirit and help me draw more strength. 

Strangers, both Jewish and gentile, want to know the whole story. How do you choose religion in 2005? And more so, how did you find something without finding fundamentalism? Fundamentalism is all we see on the news—Christians, Islam, or Jewish. The liberal and the middle-road religious don’t get much press.

As I explain to people my path to Judaism and the joy I find in my studies, I have been surprised to find almost all positive reactions.  An upstairs neighbor said to me, “I wasn’t raised to go to church.  I think it is so great that you are choosing something at your age.” I’ve only had one negative reaction, from a friend who is a born-again Christian, “Jews? Do you people still kill animals?”

The most interesting conversations have not been with Christian friends or atheistic friends, but my Jewish friends.  I have taken Jews to temple for the first time in years, answered questions about the Torah, and had them giggling with my mis-steps along the way. My roommate, an American-raised Israeli Jew, said that he was giving more consideration to Judaism after watching my journey. He said he was starting to ask, “What does being Jewish mean to me?” 

I chose religion in 2005, because I could no longer say, “This is all there is.” I chose to recognize the highest in my life and in the world. As Jew By Choice, I call the highest I can know Adonai or God. You might find the highest under a different name, you can find it—even if you are a smart kid with a degree in chemistry.  

tags: euphorix  accidentally jewish  conversion  

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