Sharing with Jews by Choice

As the days roll on, one of the best things that keeps coming up with sharing my story with soon-to-be Jews.  I have three friends who will go to mikvah while I'm in Israel.  I am so excited for them.  I am excited for them, they way that people were excited for me.  A way that I couldn't understand when I was on the other side of the beit din.  I felt so confused, "Why are all these people so excited?"  But now, now I know why and I am so excited for these women.

Just in case you are headed to mikvah soon, here are the answers I gave about going to mikvah for a Reform conversion.

So.  Mikvah.

Take a good shower that morning, take all your make-up off (or don't
put it on at all.)  don't get a manicure or pedicure or fake nails
before--that all has to come off.  No glasses, no earrings, no
contacts.

I had my beit din immediately before the mikvah and two friends went
with me--both Jews by Choice.  They
waited with the Rabbis and Cantor and Carol while I took my shower.

You take another shower there, floss your teeth, brush your teeth,
comb your hair.  But then you don't dry off.  The water from the
shower represents your life until that moment and it mingles with the
water in the mikvah, you can't separate your past from your future.
That part I loved.

You have a small towel on, closed in the front.  Then you stand at the
top of the stairs and Carol gets any hair off your back.  THen you


open the towel and she takes it and hides behind it while you go down
the stairs.  When you are in the water, you tell her and she lowers
the towel to watch you dip.  (She has also given you a lesson on
dipping.)

You dip, she calls kasher, you say a blessing.
You dip again, she calls kasher, you say a silent blessing (I said the
Shema outloud here)
You dip a third time, she calls kasher, you say the shecheyanu.

And.

You are a jew.  You walk out of the water a jew.  Fucking amazing.  It
feels amazing.  It is transcendental.  Then I got dressed quickly,
barely dried off, and got back into the waiting room.  Everyone was
there to say Mazel Tov and hug me.

Then we went to Pita Inn for Falafel.  Then I went to work.

Over the course of the next week, I celebrated with dinners and
talking non-stop and feeling official.  A couple weeks later I had my
public conversion ceremony at the shul.  Probably 25-35 of my friends
came to Friday night services and then back to my house for a shabbat
party that lasted until 2 or 3 in the morning.

It is simply amazing, I can't even explain.  It is different for each
person, but I was high for days after my mikvah.  I could barely eat,
the energy changed.  And after my conversion ceremony at the
shul---another 3-4 days of just being high.

>Do you need a
> witness other than Carol? (Carol is the mikvah attendant in Chicago)
>Are you and Carol alone in
> the room? I'm confused on this part-- I hear from some
> that the rabbi is on the other side of a screen, then
> others tell me the rabbi and a witness are, then
> others still say the rabbi is in another room but can
> hear you. What gives with that?

You and Carol are alone in the room and the Rabbi (and peanut gallery)
are behind wooden shutters.  They can hear everything you say and
everyway you move in the water, but can't see anything.  The mikvah is
also dimly lit (but the blessings are readable.)  You don't need
anyone other than Carol in the room, but I don't know about on the
other side of the screen.  Check with your rabbi.


> Do I need to bring all of these toiletries like soap,
> shampoo, toothpaste, etc? Should they be unopened,
> too? Do I need a towel?

You only need the toothbrush, everything else she supplies.  It is a
Jewish Day Spa.  :)


>What is your Hebrew name and how did you choose it?

My hebrew name is Leah Meira.  My english
name is Leah Marie. I went round and round with my name--lots of
polling.  I wanted Margalit, but decided to keep it for my own
daughter.  In the end I decided that since I was changing very little,
I would honor my parents and keep close to my name.  Meira means light
or enlightened.

> Can you hear Carol under the water?

Nope.  You come up and she tells you if it was Kosher.

> Are the transliterated blessings displayed nearby? I
> have been working to know them by heart, as sans
> glasses is iffy for me. I really like the idea of
> saying she Shema after the second dunk. Mind if I
> steal that idea from you?

I was SO paranoid about the blessings.  The font is HUGE, maybe 72 or
something.  And they are one of the walls, so you can walk right up to
it to read it.  Hebrew and transliteration.

Rabbi Zedek invited me to say the Shema, so you are really stealing
from him.  It helped, because I don't always "do" silent prayer well.

> Did you dress up on mikveh day?

I think I wore jeans.  Because you are getting undressed, taking
another shower, then getting dressed again.  I was so anxious to be
with my friends, that I barely dried off.  If I'd had to put hose
on.... it would have been a disaster.

> What was your beit din like? What did they ask you? Were you all
> seated around a table or were you before them or what?

They teased each other about their hebrew handwriting.   The hardest
question was, "Who isn't taking this well?"  And talking about the
bumps in the road.  You know the answers, they are asking your heart,
not jewish trivia questions.  Reread your conversion essay--they will
have all read it.

> What (if anything) would you have wanted to do
> differenty at your mikveh or beit din or shul
> ceremony?

There is very little I would change.  I was so blessed with support,
that I focused on people who were with me and not people who were
absent. I would make sure to wear flats and not high heels--you do
have to carry the torah.  And make sure the rabbi knows if you want to
speak.  Rabbi Z forgot and I had to muscle my way up to the bimah to
say my words.

I think it was all perfect and the way it needed to happen.  I'm glad
I did this as a single woman, I think it was something I needed to do
on my own.  Had I been asked to convert it would have been a
dealbreaker instead of a wonderful journey.

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